A love worth dying for
by RawenclawBabe
Summary: Severus last moments in the Shrieking Shack  combination of his death in the last book and DH2 , and what he experienced when he met Lily again after his death. Sometimes being hurt doesn't end with death. A short angst/tragedy one-shot


Disclaimer: The world of Harry Potter belongs to J.K. Rowling

Summary:

Severus last moments in the Shrieking Shack (combination of his death in the last book and DH2), and what he experienced when he met Lily again after his death. Sometimes being hurt doesn't end with death. A short angst/tragedy one-shot

**A Love worth Dying for!**

**By RawenclawBabe**

Bitten by Nagini - Severus felt his life running out of his veins. He was dying, he knew it. He had always known that this day would come. He had always known that he would die one day by the hand of one of his masters. Now the day had finally come. In death he would be finally reunited with his love Lily.

But he knew that his mission hadn't been finished yet. He had already heard Potter entering the Shrieking Shack with his friends under his invisibility cloak. Potter needed his memories.

After the Dark Lord had left, Potter and his two sidekicks came out. They went over to their former teacher. Potter was staring at him – the boy was apparently oblivious of what he was doing. But dying Severus didn't consider anymore, why the Potter boy acted without thinking, the boy had always been too much of a Gryffindor for his liking after all.

When Harry Potter stood directly in front of him, Severus grasped the hem of the boy's robes and pulled him close. It took nearly all of his power, to gasp out the words: "Look ... at ...me."

Although he felt the cold grasp of death reaching out for him, Severus was startled, when those beautiful green eyes met his gaze – Lily's eyes. Pulling the memories of Lily in the forefront of his mind – he needed to remove them for the boy – he couldn't help but say: "You have your mother's eyes –Lily."

Tears shot to his eyes and the memories of Dumbledore and Lily flowed out of his body through his eyes and temple. He hoped the boy and his friends would be clever enough to collect them – the boy needed the information or all would be lost. But he didn't have any energy left in his body. The world around him began to fade. The last thing Severus saw of the world of the living, were the beautiful green eyes of Lily Evans – in the face of Harry Potter. Then everything went black.

0000

It took Severus a few moments to realise that his body didn't hurt any more. How was this possible, he had been bitten by an enormous, poisonous snake after all? Opening his eyes carefully, Severus was met by the same green eyes he had only seen moments ago. "Lily, "he gasped and felt his heartbeat race in his chest – this had to be heaven, because of Lily.

The beautiful redhead looked at him coolly without saying a word.

"I'm so sorry, Lily, I didn't want to call you the m-word. You were my only friend, I loved you. I didn't want you to die. I went to Dumbledore and asked him to protect you. I protected your son, because I love you," Severus voice became more and more agitated, but Lily still didn't react.

"I've seen how you treated my son, Severus." Her voice was ice-cold and she looked at him disgustedly. Severus shuddered - this was his fifth year all over again. He fought the tears shooting in his eyes – he knew that he had treated Harry Potter worse than he should have, but no one had ever treated him any better, the Marauders had treated him far worse than he had ever treated saint Potter. But he knew, it wouldn't do for him to tell Lily that.

He could hardly bare to look into Lily's eyes: "I have protected your son. He would have been killed in his first year, if it wasn't for me. But like you do now, he has always blamed me for everything that went wrong. Yes, I could have treated him better, but Dumbledore had told me from the day you died that the Dark Lord" - Lily looked at him in disgust - "would return and that I needed to be close to the Death Eaters to resume my post as spy. It wouldn't have done, if I had kissed Harry Potter's feet like the rest of the Order of Phoenix and the other teachers – I could have never resumed spying, if I had done this. And maybe you should consider that your son wasn't an innocent little lamb either – he constantly broke school rules. Sneaking out after ours under this damn invisible cloak of his – so much like his father and the Marauders, he was constantly seeking danger, but I did everything to protect his ungrateful hide."

"Don't talk about my husband. James is a good man" Lily interrupted.

Severus snorted: "James Potter was a bully, but no, Gryffindors never can do anything wrong, can't they?"

"He didn't bully anyone anymore after we started going out in our seventh year." He had never realised, Lily's holier-than-thou attitude more than at this moment. He smirked dangerously: "Yes, but your husband has never apologised to his victims either. He and his friends were never even punished for their wrong-doings."

Lily narrowed her eyes, but for the first time Severus saw her clearly, when she told him: "You are just jealous, Severus. You say you love me, but I love James. You have never said thank you to James when he saved your life. You are so ungrateful."

"He has told you about that incident, hasn't he?" Severus snorted. "But have the Marauders ever told you the whole story? How Sirius Black tricked me to go into the Shrieking Shack to be eaten by the fully transformed werewolf Remus Lupin. James Potter saved me that night, because if he hadn't, his favourite mutt would have been sent off to Azkaban for murder and his pet-werewolf would have been executed, because that's what happens to werewolves, if they kill a human being. And wile I was threatened with expulsion, none of the Marauders was even punished. Do you think that fair?"

For the first time in their conversation Lily appeared to be shocked. Obviously she had never heard the whole truth – or maybe she had simply ignored the gory details - about the incident in the Shrieking Shack before. When she didn't say anything, Severus continued to speak: "But maybe you think that I would have deserved being eaten by your husband's pet-werewolf. After all, you loved to use him bullying me to flirt with him. Maybe that's the reason, why you couldn't forgive me calling you the m-word, no matter how many times I apologised. Don't you think I didn't see you smiling at James Potter while I was hanging upside down by the lake? Don't you think I saw you laugh at my humiliation? Oh yes, you defended me, but only after you had a good laugh on my expense. But maybe you thought it funny, to flirt and laugh with a boy who bullied your supposedly best friend. No matter what they did to me, you always defended them. But of course, they were good Gryffindors and who would believe an evil Slytherin over good Gryffindors?" His voice was laced with sarcasm now.

Lily swallowed. Her house-mates had been on her to end her friendship with Severus from the beginning. Slytherins were evil – even Severus had become a Death Eater after all. But was that really right?

"Perhaps slimy, little Snivellius didn't deserve anything but being used and abused." Lily's eyes widened, when she heard Severus use the degrading nickname the Marauders had given him for himself. "I know life isn't fair. And I know that I'm not a nice man and never have been, but you have been the only person that has ever been really nice to me – and even you left me. No one has ever given me reason to treat them nicely afterwards. Your son never respected me as teacher - he was so much like his father. Any other student, who had broken as many school rules as your son, would have been expelled and you know it. But like the Marauders he was allowed to do anything. Honestly I only tried to balance out the odds for Slytherin. None of you – not Dumbledore, not McGonagal, none of the Gryffindors have ever realised that Slytherins being evil Death Eaters was self-fulfilling prophecy. Honestly what do you expect singling out a single house as evil and treat their members like delinquents?"

At this point Lily interrupted him. "But Dumbledore..."

"Dumbledore only used me as means to achieve his end. He used me, because I promised him to do anything, if he protected you." Severus lips formed a thin line. "But he treated Slytherins like scum. He laughed at me being mistreated. You laughed at me being bullied by your husband and his friends."

Lily sighed: "What on earth do you want from me?"

"Accepting my apology and a 'Thank you, Severus' would be nice, but I've begun to realise that I might be asking too much," he was hurt – he knew that Potter and the Marauder's would never apologise and accept what he had done for Lily and Harry Potter, but Lily? He felt her resentment and it hurt him.

Lily didn't answer. And Severus knew it was the end, when Lily turned around and walked away to stand next to her husband and his friends. James Potter put the arms around his wife and led her away. She turned around once, looking back at Severus she laughed with her husband and Sirius Black.

Severus had lost. He had known for twenty years that she had chosen James Potter over him, but it hurt. And even after all he had done for her she couldn't accept him for who he was. That hurt. Severus had always known, that being beaten and neglected by his parents and bullied by the Marauders had hurt his soul. But Lily's cold rejection had destroyed him. He was a broken man. He would never find his peace. He didn't have the chance to find any peace and love in life, but he wouldn't find his peace in death either, Lily had seen to that. Love was suffering, life was suffering. All that Severus Snape knew was suffering.

He was lost – all he had ever known was suffering. And Severus Snape finally realised - that despite his previous thoughts – he was in hell. But not only in death, but all his life he had been in hell. It was the Marauders' and Lily's heaven, but it was his hell.

He was in hell and the Marauders would be able to taunt him for eternity. Hell.

THE END

A/N:

Please tell me your thought. I'm really interested to learn your ideas what would happen, if Severus and Lily meet again in the afterlife. So please review.


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